Monday, February 2, 2009

Run Mama Run - Delusional Suspicions

This is a story of two couples who messed up their lives. This is the story of two very educated couples who dreamt a home and a family. This is the story of millions of men and women who loose the faith, the trust and the hope of living together everyday. This is the story of agony, loneliness and fear. This is the story of revenge and delusional suspicion.

Vijayasree Voora married Dr. V Ravi Chandran a scientist in the USA. Vijayasree purportedly did her education from the University of Hawaii at Manoa (1993 to 1995) and the Purdue University (1995 - 1999). Being well educated she worked as a lecturer. The couple borne a child named Aditya. Everything seemed fine until one day the ugly face of egoism showed its face. They decided to divorce but now what about Aditya. The custodial battle in USA was swift and according to very stringent laws in the USA, Chandra was almost made to rake out $ 3,00,000 (Rs 1.5 crore) as an one-time settlement and he was ordered to pay $ 2,500 (Rs 1.2 lakh) per month as maintenance for the child every month. Aditya was allowed custodial of 20 days with his mother and the remaining 10 days with Chandran. Soon Chandran wanted Aditya only for himself and wanted to deny him to his biological Mother. He filed for legal custody by claiming that Vijayasree is mentally disturbed. She in turn accused him of being a pedophile and sexually molesting Aditya. The court but directs Aditya to his Father. Vijayasree requests a month of stay with her child before he goes for ever to live with his father and also requests for a journey with him to India so that Aditya could visit his grand parents and relatives for the last time. She journeys but never returns back to the USA. Dr. Ravi files a complaint for kidnapping and the court issues an arrest warrant in January 2007. Two years have gone by and the Mother is still running and evading an international manhunt.

What makes human beings delusional and suspicious? Why do people disturb their family life by creating illusory ideas? Why do egoist couples make repeated accusations based on insignificant or minimal evidence, often citing apparently normal or everyday events or duties to back up their claim? They also take great pains to test their partner's claim and go to such large lengths to monitor the partner’s behavior and everyday movements, sometimes to great extremes, such as waiting outside the partner's office, checking their incoming phone calls or checking their emails

In most cases of the current child custody drama, the court favors the mother. After all, children do need their mothers particularly at an early age. And this is not to discredit Mothers but I strongly believe Fathers too are significant in a young child's life. When the child custody becomes a conflict and battle, everyone loses on the way to some ego victory - Innocent children, the couple’s future and the whole family's peace. Children need the love of both parents and should never be asked to choose between the two most important people in their lives

On the 2nd anniversary of the escapade, I mull over about their torn lives and remember the story of the wise Solomon who was adjudicating the trail of two mothers who were claiming the ownership of a baby. Both the mothers argued that the baby was their baby. The wise King ordered the baby to be cut in half and each mother receives half the baby. One mother screamed and pleaded the king not to hurt the baby and to give the baby to the other woman. The king thus knew that the woman who cared for her baby was the real parent.




But seeing the manhunt initiated by Dr. Chandra who has even created a website http://www.rescueaditya.org and the way the biological Mother is termed an "International Kidnapper," posted and portrayed as a "severely mentally disturbed" person and some "petty and daily" Mother struggles in bringing up a child posted as video leaves no confusion in my mind that Dr Ravi is the disturbed person. His stupid logic quoted from the website says, "Aditya lived like a prince in father's home while Vijayasree Voora made him a street urchin and gave him a lifestyle of a filthy beggar." is too much to fathom. I just wish that Vijayasree keeps running until her husband understands his folly, gives the respect he needs to give his wife and welcomes them both back with love and an understanding which God imparted to only us mortals.

44 comments:

Praveen said...

my god..when I started to read that I thought this must be a fictional story...too hard to believe that people go to such extents to satisfy their egos

Anonymous said...

I am concerned about the extend to which people can demean themselves for abdicable, undesired and selfish motives...... people should understand that there is nothing better than being together!!!!!

Poor kid..... imagine his plight... that too in this tender age.... its real cruelty!!!!

Lets hope that this "mature" but hare brained parents of Aditya, realizes their mistake and takes steps at least for their child's sake!!!!!

Biju..... nice pick this time.....!!!! Its touching!!!!

brocasarea said...

actually in the beginning i thought its just a fiction story...

really sad to know how people ruin their own lives...the psychological impact it will have on the child is just too haunting!!...

hope everything goes well!:)

aliceinneverland said...

i thought this was some yarn.... God i love it... cant wait to add u on my blogroll and read your other posts... ur an amazing writer... :D

shail said...

"Children need the love of both parents and should never be asked to choose between the two most important people in their lives" Period.
If the parents cannot get along and want to separate for whatever reason, the least they can do is not make it difficult for the kid and to make their separation as trauma free for the child as possible. But when will such sense prevail?!
This one seems quite a vindictive drama!

vishesh said...

thankfully no senas here :P

on a serious note,yuck!

Krishna said...

You have written it really well. One thing is that I am not able to decide whom to blame for this. There is no fathers side or the mothers side here, just the kids side of the story should prevail..

Biju Mathews said...

@Praveen: Welcome to my blog. Thank you :-)

@Anonymous: Yeah, true the kid is suffering...

@Brocasarea: I too hope everything goes well. Thank you for visiting and commenting :-)

@aliceinneverland: Thank you very much. I'm honoured to be commented so from a writer like you. I've added you too in my blogroll :-)

@shail: Thank you and welcome back. The liberty of divorcing is the worst thing which happened to us in the mordern era especially after we bear children

@vijesh: :-)

@Krishna: Welcome to my blog and than you for the compliment. Only the kid should be important for them and not their egos

Nimmy said...

"He filed for legal custody by claiming that Vijayasree is mentally disturbed. She in turn accused him of being a pedophile and sexually molesting Aditya. "


Thatz disgusting..and sad too..

Agreed,it is the adults fault..But what choice do they have?For sure,they cannot live together again happily.Now seperated,we cannot cut child into half and give one piece to each,obviously he has to stay somewhere.What was wrong with the court ruling of 20 days-10 days..?If that was followed,the parents could have brought up the kid in a decent manner.Here,the father did it wrong by "Soon Chandran wanted Aditya only for himself and wanted to deny him to his biological Mother."..OF course,there will be cases when mother takes this role.If somebody else intervented at this point and tried to set thigns right,maybe it would have made a difference..I hope it doesn't ahppen to any kid...

Excellent post..Its really sad that divorces are increasing these days..Better not make kids until you are sure that you are love and tolerate each other...

Vyazz said...

I am not the least bit surprised at the oucome of events you have described in your post. Ego plagues almost all of human connections such as marriage, friendship, brotherhood, etc.
Humanity never surprises me with their decadent ways.

Biju Mathews said...

Thank you Nimmy! How true, it seems to be the new mantra - testing the waters of relationship for its calmness before bringing out its fruits. What I believe is that if a realtionship can hold its threads for atleast 5 years then its a great going but the problem lies in the monotony of marriage and the change lies in an offspring for the parents to find a deviation and a "new" person to love; a common love!!

Biju Mathews said...

Hello Vyazz,

Welcome again. I liked what you wrote, "Humanity never surprises me with their decadent ways." Everyone is selfish!

Poonam said...

This was sick, I feel these website should be blocked. This guy has no love for his child. :(

No wonder women fled with the child. I wonder why father insist on making teh child choose. :(

Biju Mathews said...

@Poonam: Thank you very much for visiting and for the comment. This choosing business is the worst thing which can happen - for example: A child will only go to his Father if the Mother is the only one scolding him to drink milk. In short he's too young to understand the purpose, right?

Indyeah said...

was lurking around..:D
what a name for a blog!cool one though :)


Yeah I saw this caes mentioned quite a few times..and the father seemed plain loony to me...
and what a way to try and get close to your son!Is he demented?seems to be..as you said he does seem quite disturbed..
you weaved your story quite well with this incident...

But do you really think he will be okay?and willing to 'take' his wife?would the wife want to come back to a man who made such allegations against her?

Biju Mathews said...

@Indyeah: Thank you! Are we not all mad folks living our own ideas, plans, theories and principles? We have either consciously created our fake selves or we are twisted in the mind by the society. The society often terms a person mad if his beliefs and convictions doesn't match their's, right?

Thank you for commenting! God bless

Winnie the poohi said...

Actually both parents dont deserve the kids.. it shud be evicted from them!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Rajeev said...

Touching story man !! i really feel sorry for Aditya.. the idiot parents actually ruined the life of him.. the dad should actually start another website http://www.rescueadityafromparents.org or something like that. Parents often forget the lives of their kids. the kids are very observing and they see the egoistic battles and fights between the parents and that will go very deeply into their minds forever. if they just give a thought about the future of their kids they can overcome their ego clashes and other stupid things.. this is not only a standalone story, this happens everwhere , in kerala, india and all over the world.. poor kids, they have to live with all these things and sometime parents remarry and find new lives and the kids are abandoned or orphaned. They should not have produced kids in the first plaec and these kind of parents should be hanged in front of public...poor poor aditya and similar kids.. sometime they grow up with relatives or uncles or aunties who dont care a $hit and if they are smart enough they fight their lives and achieve success. but what is there to replace their lost child hood and happiness. their childhood memories will contain only the fighting dad and mom and the divorce and stuff...

anyways, keep writing Biju ...

regards

....... said...

Well, I have a feeling this must be turned in to a criminal case... i seriously do not believe this Dr. Ravi Chandra!!

Tina said...

I absolutely sympathize with this unfortunate mother!This man is mad....and he should be placed in any mental assylam....he is ruining aditya's life.What does he think??? By doing all these drama he will get back his son??

Anonymous said...

IT SEEMS THAT THE FATHER IS NOT CONCERNED ABOUT THE WELLBEING OF HIS SON.ONLY THING HE IS CONCERNED ABOUT IS THE FULL CUSTODY OF THE SON,WHICH WILL BOOST HIS EGO.WHY DOESNOT HE PRAY TO GOD RATHER THAN ACCUSING THE MOTHER? THE MOTHER MUST HAVE BEEN TERRORISED TO SUCH EXTREME THAT SHE IS NOT TAKING HELP FROM THE LAW.I ONLY WANT TO SAY TO THIS BRAVE MOTHER THAT DO NOT GIVE YOUR RIGHTS AND FIGHT FOT JUSTICE,YOU WILL SURELY WIN

Anonymous said...

agreed. Nothing new with this case - divorce, bad feelings, custody battles.. happens (unfortunately) all the time. Only ones who benefit are the lawyers. What is different in this case, is all the dirty laundry being aired out all over the internet.
what a nutcase. singing to the kid! posting legal/semi legal docs! locking it up except for a few hours a week!someone who has tons of money to spend to get his way (and get back at the mother)..
Can't this be done without all the fanfare?
Would help viji if only I could! be safe miss if you are reading this.

Dr.V.RaviChandran said...

I am the father of Aditya. I reviewed all the postings here. I agree with many of the posts. Mother should be free to pursue peaceful life, and my son Aditya must be admitted to school. I am hoping the audience here will take a middle path and look at Aditya's plight. I am open to compromise. Hope Viji is also open for the same. God bless Aditya. Dr. V. Ravi Chandran

Felix DSouza said...

Thank you for this article.
Before we just go soft and compassionate for the mother, do we even realize and see that this is actually a revenge by a mother using the child as a weapon.
What actually happened between the two I don't know, but do you really think that the child doesn't need a father?
It opens our eyes to the cruel mothers we have in today's society that hold children without permission of the father, even though things are not working between parents, the child does not have to suffer this inhumane treatement of the child.
We should also take into account the 3 million dollars the father has already given to the wicked mother here. Gone are the days when we used to respect our mothers, maybe the mother of the future may even sell her child.
Is NHRC- National Human Rights Commission - looking out to find this child amd give the child joint permission to be with both parents?
Very sad life for the child due to a cruel mother.

Anonymous said...

The author takes a very simplistic view of a rather complex topic. It is easy to take a position one way or the other, when no position should have been taken at all - for the simple reason that none of us have all the facts and we'll never have all the facts ...

For the record, I personally know Vijayshree from over 10 years ago. She is a nice person. Does that make what she did right? Not necessarily ....

Does the fact that her husband goes to great lengths to make production quality videos make him bad .... Not necessarily ....

When normally good people are stressed beyond a certain point, they react in different ways ... Some exhibit a positive response while the rest go the other way ...

Vijayashree most likely started by making a small mistake (ego could be a factor here), but didn't know when to stop and kept compounding her mistakes to the point where she had no choice but to continue her mistakes .... In the later stages, it is not the ego, but chronic/intense stress/anxiety might be the good reasons ... Vijayashree, being on the run for a while .... got into a reactive mode a long time ago ... She needs to be stopped before she hurts herself and the child ....

Both parties lost control of the situation a long time ago .... Vijayashree lost it when she broke the agreement and Mr. Chandran lost it when he chose to go to the media and the web. If you know how the system works, it's possible that Mr. Chandran was convinced that the videos would help ... He could have said yes for something he'd normally say no to - for chronic stress related reasons or even financial reasons ....

Let's hope that both come to terms and do the right thing in the interest of the child ...

Sumanth said...

If Vijayashree had been the husband and Ravichandran the wife and all other events had been same, how would you all have reacted?

This is the era of gender equality.

So far as ego and family breaking is concerned, Indian divorces will approach 15% very soon. Now, it is 7%.

That means, 1 out of 7 of you guys will face what this couple is facing.

It is easy to preach and it is another thing to practice.

Family Breaking industry is huge and it has powerful lobbies.

Family Breaking increased GDP and hence intolerance promoted by media with all false statistics and brainwashing.

People talk big till their own ass catches fire with 4 or 5 lawsuits and costly custody battles.

Do not worry. Everyone will get an opportunity.

Dr. V. Ravi Chandran said...

I am the father of Aditya Chandran, and I am very pleased with the judgment rendered by the Supreme Court of India. Agreeing with the NY family Court in Albany, Supreme Court had declared that all allegations leveled against me by Vijayasree Voora were hollow and without any substance. Two different courts in multiple jurisdictions have declared all allegations by Vijayasree are false.

Now the question is, why my son, Aditya Chandran went in front of the 3-Judge panel of the Supreme court of India and proclaimed ..."My father is a bad man!".

I love my son very much, and now he is only 7 years old. He had been continously under the influence of his mother for the past 30 months, with no communication with me. According to Justice Tarun Chatterjee, he categorically rejected poor Aditya's statement and declared that all his statements were coached by the mother, and was unhappy about Vijayasree's counsel that he even decided to put little Aditya in front of the judge to utter appalling statements against me.

I do have information that Vijayasree had been telling Aditya for the past 30 months, that "...your father does not love you, see, he is not even coming to see you!..". She said these terrible messages to Aditya during his birthdays, and other important religious holidays.

It has been concluded by the psychologists, that poisoning the minds of a very young child by one parent against the other parent is one of the most brutal form of child abuse. Vijayasree had been poisoning poor Aditya brutally for the past 30 months. Unfortunately Aditya didn;t have any independent confirmation of this, as he was fully cut off from his father.

I thank all those who have made their comments here. Finally justice has prevailed. I am looking forward to spend time with my beloved son, and pray that he grows up to be a very happy individual and outstanding citizen. God bless Aditya.
Dr. V. Ravi Chandran

Anonymous said...

Ravi chandran shows only love for himself in his ridiculous looking videos. I side with the mother here even though it looks bad for her. she ran out of fear of losing her son.
The courts jst got it wrong here.

urasay said...

i somehow dont buy the monster mom theory. coming from the legal field, i know how courts can be wrong. there have been instances where the courts held the same view from the JMFC right up to the supreme court but eventually they were all proven wrong because of fresh facts coming to the surface. do you think she is having fun living this life? why the ambiguity in stating her professional qualification? a person suffering from mental illness cannot plan her next ten moves and stay under cover for so long.
what jayashree needs is a good lawyer. i would suggest someone like Mr. K K Venugopal.

horemhebanubis said...

I wonder why the necessity to cast the father in such heinous light? Is not conceivable that the mother is the guilty party here? If truly the father was the guilty person in this case would two Supreme Courts, in USA and in India rule in his favor? The woman is a fugitive and is the true criminal for bringing the trauma upon her son. What father would not want to save his son from such an unbalanced wife? For all the people who are so ready and quick to blame the father and excuse the mother, have you thought about the other side of the coin too?

My heart goes for that unfortunate child and the hapless father who has been living in terror for so many years worrying about the fate of his son.

concerned parent said...

what does it take to prove that a person is mentally ill, if not all the facts we have about the mother. she has two divorces, two failed relations, one affair, no family or friends standing up for her despite holding two masters degrees. Even her own kid is going to hate her once he realizes what went on in her childhood days. He would certainly know who abused him and who misused him. the mother or the father? it is too disturbing to think there are people out there who think she is sane. disgusting.

Anonymous said...

Hello, as you can see this is my first post here.
I will be glad to receive some help at the beginning.
Thanks and good luck everyone! ;)

Rescue Aditya said...

I am the father of Aditya Chandran. On May 1st, Aditya was handed over to me in Chennai by the CBI as per Supreme Court order. On May 6th I exited India with Aditya to Dallas TX, USA. Aditya was very pleased and excited to go back to USA. My relationship with my beloved son was as if the lost 3 years shrunk to few seconds. Aditya is a resilient kid and he had already made friends in USA and all his neighbors are very happy to seem him. He is starting school on May 9th, and I plan to provide him the most stability that he sorely lacked in the past 3 years. I thank Supreme Court of India and CBI for great justice rendered to Aditya, and I hope all other fathers in my situation also succeed in seeing their children and bring them back to their home countries. God Bless.

Dr. V. Ravi Chandran said...

I would like to ask Biju Mathews, how is it possible for the child of an "Indian Mother" to be pried away from her hands, and handed over to her "ex-husband", an "Indian male" and "father" by the government of India?
Please note that on May 1, 2010 Aditya Chandran was forcibly taken away from his "Indian mother" and handed over to his "Indian father", a male, and ex-husband. This is unprecedentant in the history of India.
In India with strong mother sentiment that "mothers can do no wrong", it is very surprising that her child is taken away by the government officials, and lo and behold, handed over to a "father" that too an "Indian father".

I would like to request Biju Mathews to think about how this extra-ordinary situation came in to effect.

How come NY Supreme Court and Supreme Court of India ordered that Indian born male child, to Indian mother (who is holding Indian Passport) be handed over to a foreign Father, that too an US national? How come Indian courts which have jurisdiction over this matter actually disregarded all the rights of an Indian mother, and handed over her child to a foreign national?

Please think about this!

Anonymous said...

I would appreciate more visual materials, to make your blog more attractive, but your writing style really compensates it. But there is always place for improvement

Dr. V. Ravi Chandran said...

For the latest news on the brutal and violent parental alienation of Aditya, click www.rescueaditya.org following by clicking on the top story on home page.

Anonymous said...

pretty cool stuff here thank you!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I wonder exactly what Joni will say with this!?

-Yours truly
Leona

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Stevedmjc said...

thankfully no senas here :P on a serious note,yuck!

Nitish Sandhu said...

I Like it,,, literally well written