Monday, January 23, 2012
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Thursday, April 16, 2009
You see, I'm no new to marriage. I've been married before to a lovely girl. Things had not worked out and we agreed for a mutual divorce. The year was 2000 and I was excited as now I’m of a life with a female gender. The hormones signaled yes, and I dumbly stood in front of the holy alter among a cascade of Christian orthodox Priests who sang in union and blessed us among smiles of more than a thousand people. What a day it was! A hopeful seemingly January sun cleared the sky, sang too in unison and the bright sparkling stars blessed us into a mysterious single body in our first night together.
Alas, I was a young fool. Ignorant and spoiled. Egoistic and selfish. My ex-wife was as also stubborn as never expected. I guess I hoped a submissive wife like my Sisters and Mother, which no young woman is and I failed to envision her thoughts. Thoughts which was about individuality and freedom. I failed miserably. I became the villain; I became the baddie in love; I became the villoma in our life; I became the epithelial tumor which could only be separated by the curse solution in society called divorce.
After she left me, I became half crazy, gave up my lucrative job, broke off all the glasses in the kitchen, migrated back to India and vowed never to love and trust again a female psyche. Of course I was not successful!
I've given my heart to so many girls but unlike playboys I've not lost count. My first ever love happened when I was doing my plus two (pre-degree at that time.) I watched with cupid dancing around my eyes a beautiful dark belle who used to travel in my bus everyday. The persistent cowboy in me saw giving a love letter (the only one I’ve given, yeah, those days it worked…) to her, forcibly inserted into her assemblage of college books and paraphernalia. Oh, yes, she had the twinkle in her eyes the next day and returned a letter back to me. I cannot express my feeling in this blog of what I felt; a mixture of exhilaration and an insurrection toward the daily monotony of college life. My next love life was when I was in Karnataka - Goa, met this tall beauty conscious lass whose friendship turned passionate and an obsession in the Osho fever which was fervent in our life at that time. The next crush was towards a Gulf Air air-hostess in Bahrain who fell for my romantic thoughts. A lot of seasons together we moved away. We simply moved away! The next break was my ex-wife, a pure arranged marriage which went wrong. She I fathom found a dearer human being with time. A lot of dark moments afterwards in Kochi, I fell in for an Aquarian who almost matched my madness. She was separated and the love guru who I had become by that time lectured her in reconciling with her estranged hubby. No woman likes that and I became as distant as the burning Sun and though she was not successful in rejoining up, she found a new macho heart. Then it was a series of relations through friends and families. A US based scientist who believed that I broke her heart and who wanted a life not in India, a young "blue eyed" girl so much younger to me, one or two divorcees who shared a dream with me but nothing worked out. Guess I'm the culprit, a dark faced monster who liked the dark part of all taking on the stupid phone and resisted the sunshine.
Roads sometimes lead to blocked roads but like pathways which guide us to find roads, I walk groping in the dark fumbling in the moonlight in relish of a dawn cherished by a hope known only in love. My proposed missy is divorced once because her ex-hubby had doubts about her morality and character. He believed that her friends and even her brother were all imaginary lovers falco subbuteo with secretive liaisons. I'm lucky in this, I believe in friends; I believe not in a husband and wife passing their time only in looking into each other eyes and being happy. Oh, come on, everyone needs love of their friends and other distractions. Marriage and love are just conditions for a legal societal based living together, sex and making legitimate generations, right?
Many of you hardly know anything about me and I've purposely not done any "know-me" (sorry - Vijesh, IHM) tags because I was afraid of rejection and revealing so much about me; I was afraid of the villain image; I was afraid of projecting my melancholy (Indyeah - You guessed right) ; I was afraid of jutting out my own fears and reality.
I've grown up over the years and have matured aged and ripened my thought processes, my patience and my egoistic thoughts. I now don't believe in infatuations but love in patience and empathy; I now believe in human thoughts espoused with the belief in living and dying with hands enjoined. Please bless me as I donate her my used heart!
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
What I believe is that love starts in the old age. In the old age, when the children grow up and are gone. In the old age, when the poor soul looks into each other and has only the complaints about other and an "only life" experience to share. A dependence only to Gods and the faith associated with it. A dependence in only each other, a clinging so intimate. Love starts then and there!
I thought I'll live for ever. I thought that I'm immune to diseases. I remember looking at people who exercised in the morning and evening for a better health and I’ve noticed people straining for a better life and I just smile. I smiled at their stupidity. I also laughed when they say they have high sugar in their blood stream and have cholesterol. I never thought that it is what it is to become a "human." and I'll finally experience it and live as one. I failed to fathom that we are all ordinary mortals under the mercy of nature. We can in a minute become sick or fall under the rubble with the shift of belts in an earthquake. The struggle of desperation and weakness in a human being is so noticeable in our daily existence that we are simply just such weaklings, but we imagine ourselves as super human beings capable of living for ever.
When I was small, I always was the Amithabh Bachchan, Dharmendra or the Vinod Khanna. When I used to be small and see the films, plume was high and after each film I used to enact the complete scenes in front to my Sister and my Parents and felt special among the giggles of the crowd. I always wanted to be the hero. The invincible that could bash up, sing and woo the girls I always wanted. Though the girls and villains are never the actual character and the mentality what I currently expect and my life has changed, I just wanted to be above all.
What are we? Are we are not just ourselves trying to prove ourselves in this world and trying to gain acceptance?
Is the girl who I'm trying to woo and marry not just an individual, an another soul who is trying to prove herself and trying for acceptance in this funny world? Is not life what I and what she has imagined the same? A life with someone who can respect each other and negotiate freedoms? A tension free life which is free of tautness and a beautiful froth of happiness along the way?
Money as we believe is the now the source of the all the happiness in this world. Money to buy a TV, so that we can pass the time, Money to buy exotic holidays, money to give cinematic gifts, money to buy time and money to buy even romantic dreams!
Where are we all heading? To the grave, right? Is time that we spend together so important when we amalgamate with soil? Is the soil concerned when blending two souls about its differences?
My dear Brother- Clinton (yes, his name is Clinton and he was named when the ex-president Bill Clinton assumed office), yesterday sent a beautiful SMS, which goes something like this, "It's just meaningless in expecting anyone to be your kind because you can't hold their right hand in your right hand to walk together." My respect really grew towards him even though it was just a SMS forward. Are we not just fools trying to be superior to others and trying to prove ourselves?Love and keep loving my dears. There is nothing else so important in this world. Hate and egoism is just temporary. Let us not lose our precious time in bickering and fights which proves nothing.
Love each other without expecting anything in return. Give the freedom to each other which even you don't cherish for yourselves. Love each other to prove nothing. That's life at its best! God Bless!!
Friday, April 10, 2009
Under the dawn eaves overlooking the moon;
The nest is still and sad,
As though it sorrows and grieves,
For many an empty lass and lad's soul.
From his quiet realm on hights,
The face in the Moon was jaded, it seemed,
Of dwelling so long in the land of dreams,
Enjoying the solitude of sleepless nights.
My Spirit gazed upon his face,
Ever so resilient, ever so proud;
And the twin sisters, hope and fear,
Told a tale of fairness and distant spheres.
Of faith shall love be born afresh;
Of faith that I shall be loved and a lover too;
Of faith after this poor soul has died;
Of faith in felicitous joy for a thousand nights.
From pain, from sorrows, from cold,
I hope of wrap within her warm arms;
Of no more a lonely night; awake,
With tingling whispers in her ears well into dawn.
What is fear, unknown, manipulated, but a curious mind?
Of battles lost or won;
Let it crawl or let it fly;
But just be here within my reach to stay!
Come along forever, come along now.
You for me, I for you. I promise you that;
Just pull me towards you, blame the wind push,
But just love me for sweet mercifulness sake.
Just keep holding me or pretend to,
As I fear my belittled nest is cold,
And now that I’ve lost my age of flying,
I fear there is nowhere left to fly to!
P.S - I'm yet to reply to the comments in my previous post and I'm yet to read and visit you guys to comment on your blog. Do forgive! My mind and time were not in tempo. Thanks!
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Loneliness has not been a stranger. What’s disturbing about loneliness is the redundant voice in you, pestering you that you must be mated to someone and that loneliness is a frightening mistake in the old age. As I believe that I age and that I age. The voice in you is not bothered about who you find. It just keeps tormenting you. I've often told people including my parents and friends around me of my intent to be left alone for a time. They agnized this and saw this announcement as trying to be devoid of their company. I often felt repentant, that I cherished such an unusual thing as solitude. To my friends and family, the declaration to be alone sounds as a sign of rejection and a sign of madness. I've noticed that many have never felt the need to be left alone; they rather enjoy a crowd, probably having always lived happily in relationships. They look upon me and my need for solitude as eccentricity and lunacy.
Finally one day, interior and exterior become one, and you are like a dumb person who has had a dream to finally commit. One day there comes an instant when a conclusion must be made. A lady climbes the ladder and comes into your life and you gloam into the tradition of must-fall-in-love. Love falls into a surrogate thought which befalls beliefs. Beliefs which cherishes norms. Norms which compliment hopes. Finally two people who want to love each other must question themselves how much they hope for as their love expands and intensifies, and how much risk they are inclined to take. It is in truth a fearsome gamble. To think of it, the way of the nature of love is to create. A matrimony itself is something which has to be created.
To get married is the biggest risk in earthly relations that a human can take. If we commit ourselves to one person for life, is there as ordinary mortals think a limitation of freedom? Will man be able to accommodate the change in his accustomed rhythm in life? Will he be selfish to the demands to give it all to love which is temporary? Is not love merely participation and not possession for life and in actuality invading each others space? Will he be able to express the gender equality what men internally cherish and comprehend in their daily interations? Will man never be called a "hen pecked" if he compromises and gives his soul to knead his actions?
I glanced again at the spider for some comment; it kept rocking to the breeze of the weary ceiling fan as if in agreement. And yet again, I invited the guest to walk the steps into my soul as the time passes by in my existence in this selfish world.
Monday, March 30, 2009
It's not at all difficult !
1. A friend
2. A companion
3. A lover
4. A brother
5. A father
6. A master
7. A chef
8. An electrician
9. A carpenter
10. A plumber
11. A mechanic
12. A decorator
13. A stylist
16. A psychologist
17. A pest exterminator
18. A psychiatrist
19. A healer
20. A good listener
21. An organizer
22. A good father
23. Very clean
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
44. Give her compliments regularly
45. Love shopping
46. Be honest
47. Be very rich
48. Not stress her out
49. Not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
50. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
51. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
52. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
53. Never to forget: birthdays anniversaries arrangements she makes
(B) HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY....!!! :
1. Leave him in peace
2. Feed him well.
3. Let him have the remote control.
...... are you seriously looking for more??
This is a fun post. Women: Do take it sportingly and Men: Laugh away!!
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
This is to me, justifiably, a palpable anger at the turn of events following the "outright' bid and winning of Gandhiji's glasses, sandals, pocket watch, plate and a bowl, put up for auction by Sotheby's by US based collector named James Otis. Vijay Mallaya bought them for close to 10 crores. My anger is not against the political leaders for failing miserably in governance. My anger is not against the liquor baron's touching the items of a man who preached against alcohol. My ire is against the waste of money!
Before you start criticizing me for being anti-Gandhian and anti-patriotic, let's first look at the financial state of the people living in India. Read: the people!!
In my earliest recollection of the lessons in economics and civics in school, my economics teacher had made it simple the subjects of taxation by advocating that the bridge between the rich and the poor should be made less and hence taxes were introduced. India is home to approximately one-third of all poor people in the world. To be precise, India constitutes 33% of the global poor, which is nailed at 1.4 billion people.
Today, India Inc and the rich appear to have three fashioned approaches to tackling poverty. The first is fundamentally declare that there are no poor. Recent criticisms in the making of the movie, "Slum dog Millionaire" critiqued has people like Danny Boyle, the Oscar-winning director of Slumdog Millionaire wonder if he really did shoot the movie in the Mumbai teeming slums in Nehru Nagar and nearby Dharavi, which ironically is home to more than a million people and is the largest slum in Asia. Everyone was worried how India was portrayed. For them India is simply not the slums, the dirt and poverty. For the rich and the affluent, people living in the tiny shanties are simply not Indian. The second tactic of India Inc is to abolish the poor, rather than poverty. This is dramatically proven in Mumbai over the years when slum vicinities are razed, making thousands homeless. The Mumbai police simply followed suit by beating people up as protesters protested with a tear in their eye. Is it their India, they wondered. They are looked upon as cattle or any other lower form of life. People forget that the cramped huts near open sewers in narrow dirty lanes are what they call home. Mumbai Assistant Municipal Commissioner Umashankar Mistry very ironically said, "The plot has been earmarked as a playground and we will demolish all illegal settlements." A playground for whom? The children of a few rich Indians? I hear that the child actor of SDM still lives in an illegal structure made of tarpaulin sheets with his one-eyed mother and TB-suffering alcoholic father. Rubina Ali too lives in a one room tin roof shack perched above an ocean of trash which she shares with her parents and six siblings in this foul and run-down and repulsive Mumbai slum. The third approach is simply to ignore the poor. They simply fortify the belief that by the turn of the century poverty will simply disappear as the younger generation start working. So as economists sit and watch the inflation rate and compare it with the world markets, a yet another generation is living in dire straits with maybe a single lucky meal to compliment as it closes his eyes to the open sky with rumbling empty stomachs.
Is India Inc and "India Shinning" able to provide one of the most basic and most important necessities like clean air, drinking water, nutritious food, and safe shelters to all its Citizens? Or do they care only for the likes of me who pay taxes?
Article 47 says: "The state shall regard the raising of the level of nutrition and standard of living of its people as among its primary duties and in particular, the state shall endeavor to bring about prohibition of the use except for medicinal purposes of intoxicating drinks and of drugs which are injurious to health."
Democracy, as now practiced in India, is more about survival of politicians, their pride and their political parties. It's no more about its people. In fact, India's Independence which was an epic struggle for democracy, freedom and liberty, was meant only for her own people. People!!
India has forgotten all its commitments to its citizens be it the Rs.3.86 billion Chandrayaan mission to the moon, which proved nothing when it had been done 68 times before by everyone in this world and the 10,000 crore proposed manned mission to the moon. The defense budget of India is proposed at 40 billion dollars (Around 200, 000 crores) in 2009 when all we fought was some infiltrators in the last 20-30 years. For a few, the high-profile, harmless petty war like Kargil came in handy and the war was termed as the ultimate practice session and actual war like test session for the thousands of war deprived soldiers.
A total of about five million people are addicted to alcohol in India. Read: Addicted, i.e. they have a compulsive need to drink everyday. An absence in alcohol or a slight decrease of alcohol in their blood causes nausea, sweating, shakiness, and anxiety. To overcome this, the addict dedicatedly "donates" his hard earned money and arrives home to see empty stomachs and ailed families. We as people have no time to imagine their pathetic lives. Except from a few NGO's who try to better the lives of their sorry lives, they turn poorer everyday and lose their health. The production, distribution and sale of alcohol is not only a lucrative venture but an artful and manipulative scheme to appease people who are stressed and live in the margins of society. By all chronicles, the alcohol related risks have invited scant attention from the Indian government. Alcohol unfortunately comes under the horizon of state governments, and each state's stupid politician has a lucrative incentive to expand outlets accredited to sell alcohol since its taxes contribute an estimated 20 percent of each state's revenue and every domestic liquor baron contributes lavishly to political campaigns under the expense of the poor addict. If the Indian government controls opium, prescription drugs, and harmful food additives, why not alcoholic beverages?
James Otis, before he set forth to give Gandhi's items for auction tried his best to negotiate with India on, "two proposals he had submitted – increase in the spending on the poor and fully paid exhibition of Gandhi's items in 78 countries to spread the apostle of peace's message of non violence." He wanted the Govt to keep aside 5% of the total India GDP for the poor. The Indian government had rejected the proposals sent by Otis arguing that conditions set by him infringed on the country's sovereignty. Vijay Mallaya bid for the items even though his combined debt of his six listed companies has touched a whopping Rs 14,231 crore, as on December 2008. The identity of the bidders in the auction is a guarded secret and the stupidity with which the base price of 20,000 was increased to 1.8 Million by possibly Indians themselves is both heartening and disheartening. Vijay mallaya is not new to all this kind of publicity stunts. Mallaya had spent Rs 180 million to cover the entire Sabrimala sanctum sanctorum with gold, ostensibly to gain some publicity from the investment with his name inscribed in gold everywhere. He had also previously bid for the sword of Tipu Sultan and had said proudly that, "I always believed that items of great heritage value should be owned by India and restored to India." But ironically little do people know that the sword is still not in India but is maintained by him in San Francisco, California, USA.
As yet another political election drama enfolds before my eyes and crores are spent, accounted and unaccounted, it just makes me wonder, why should I be proud being called an Indian?
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Friday, March 6, 2009
I'm not an atheist but I'm completely wary of those who cast out "the demons" of asthma, blindness, AIDS, cancer, diabetes or anything which affects the human anatomy and those who come to pray and collect money. I'm always filled with rage at fakirs, faith healers, holy men who consider feeding, tantalizing, baiting fake hopes to innocent mortals desperately in quest of a miracle just to propagate their own convictions. I loathe the total system of self-deception and suspension of disbelief. Are they able to bring back the dead or re-grow an amputated limb in the name of God? You will have to remember that this is the same ‘God’ who flooded and swamped the whole earth, divided the Red Sea, and as per Bible carved humans from mud. Are they able to make a bald man grow hair right there on the stage? Or maybe remove scars from a burned victim's face? No, all healings ever recorded are paid, unseeable, and unverifiable. Does this make sense if you look at it from the theological side? All there ever was are "healings" that are temporary and brought on by euphoria, emotions and wishful thinking. I feel disturbed and saddened by the colossal gullibility and stupidity of so many thousands of people. These faith healers are just accomplished and wealthy conmen who prey on the vulnerability, helplessness, hopes, and superstitions of millions of worshippers who all want a quick fix.
Googling up I found a list of these "faith healers" mostly from the Christian faith:
Oral Roberts, Richard Roberts, Rod Parsley, Morris Cerullo, Paul Crouch, C. Peter Wagner, Paul Cain, Juanita Bynam, Benny Hinn, T.B. Joshua, John Arnott, John Kilpatrick, Steve Hill, Kenneth Hagin, Kenneth Copeland, Joyce Meyers, Earl Paulk, Fred Price, Creflo Dollar, R.W. Shambach, Reinhard Bonnke, Christian Harfouche, Rick Joyner, Mike Bickle, Tommy Tenney, Cindy Jacobs, George Otis. Jr., Michael Brown, Jack Deere, Randy Clark, Colin Dye, Nicky Gumbal, Ed Silvoso, Markus Bishop, Kim Clement, Jesse Duplantis, Marilyn Hickey, Rodney Howard-Browne, T.D. Jakes, Robert Tilton and probably a whole bevy of others like them!!
The only guy that I've had ever heard of is an entertainer called Benny Hinn. Benny is different than them all. He makes a staggering amount of money in his world wide religious crusades. He goes on to the stage, dramatically swings his arms and paralyzed victims in wheel chairs automatically stand up and walk. All he does is, wave his arms and a complete standing crowd as a group will instantly fall on their backs! I've seen him on TV with his gold watches, fancy suits, and expensive luxury cars. Benny simply doesn't hide his hunger for money, and he makes it obvious with his outlandish living styles and purchases. He buys people with money to fall for him, to stand up and push their own wheel chairs. Everything large scale! The saddest fact is that Benny could not cure his Mother who was diabetic and his Father who died of cancer.
All know that magic is about illusion and tricks. Simply put magic tricks are very clever illusions. Magicians flourish on the principle that people are gullible and the human mind is very easy to trick when tricks are done with speed. But it's an irony that all magicians do not claim supernatural power. This is the only difference between professional magicians and the numerous fake healers in this world. The fake healers arrogate that they perform miracles. But the truth is that these men are like parasites feeding on the weak and the sick. Vulnerable is the person whose spirit and body has been devastated by an illness. They go to such healing sessions and healers because all other means of a cure have failed. They look at a miracle as their last chance to get their health back. Fake healers understand this human weakness and they use it to get what they want - money.
As skeptics, earthlings need to opine out and make our voices heard, maybe at least for the sake of the despairing people so handily victimized by the faith healers.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
The ultimate point of love is to get married and finally the factual point of getting married is to have children. I know that there are of course biological mating motives and urges of which we are not conscious, which is why most people want to have kids of their own in spite of the realism that there maybe very little pure rationalism to do so and why women in general bond very fast with their new borne and feel protective of them, and yet again why young persons masturbate and have sexual urges long ahead anyone ever explains sex to them.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Several factors play importance in our using up one another to live. The first thing that is requisite is a personality that does not switch based on a particular situation. Does one stand firm to one's values and persona despite the chance for shortcuts and noetic laziness? Does one have the instinct for honesty and humane justice? Does this instinct set its horizon upon only one outcome or does it consider all factors like selfishness, hatred and love in the abstract? Is the feeble mind a fair mediator of conflict which can rightly see all sides? I basically believe that soon age will slow us all down and so all battles need not be fought and won. It is better to live at peace with onself than be corpses addicted to petty amusement.
We were brought up with tales of many a handsome prince and many a beautiful princesses. We were only told gallant tales of winning love, of slaying dragons and conquering love. Why were we never told stories of how to live happily with our princesses? How do we know what is the right way to love, to live a married life and how to keep our love? Why were we not told tales of how to love? Are we to watch the movies and assume the way to love and assume the way to live with a woman? Are we to behave the same as we behaved with our Sisters and our Mothers, fighting and throwing tantrums? Will that work with our wife or loved one? Will she call that physical and mental harassment? In living together with a loved one, it is important to consider, not just feelings, satisfactions and good things in the relationship, since living together on an everyday basis inclines to highlight (in ways just dating and casual love does not) bad habits, bad manners, bad moods, and finally the most important factor - boredom. Few, if you may imagine, can be thrilling and exciting, new and wonderful but not all of them. I don't understand why people who are in deep love "just want to live together." Is not the living daily together the toughest part of a relationship or marriage? Does not living apart, even though seeing each other everyday or most of the time, allow some privacy, some ignition and some recuperation from all the time together?
I think it's pretty easy to become attracted romantically to other people but we should not expect that relationship to flower with the sweet smell of success just because of those feelings. I believe that one can relish the feelings of love without even telling the person we love. It's better that way. Isn't it better not to own and be responsible for someone? Was it not feasible if one could tell the other they are attracted to, either intellectually, sexually, romantically, however, about their love and stay smitten by them or to them without thereby seeking or needing to become lovers or have a fuller relationship? The trouble only begins if one freezes one's life expectations or let it ruin because one wants to act unsuitable so as to tamper those feelings or would like them returned. The irony is that the other person might be very pleased and satisfied just to know that you care about them, as long as neither of you behave unreasonably or have unreasonable expectations or demands just because of the attraction.
As we grow older, we may remember more of those fairy tales. Loved ones would leave us, friends and acquaintances would surprise us by appearing again, and those respected tales meant for fairies we imagined as young children of this earthly world may disappear one by one.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
* Ponnum Thinkal Pottum
* Akale - Title Song
* Oru Raathri Koodi - Summer In Bethlahem
* Thenum Vayambum
* Thamarakkili Paadunnu - Moonampakkam
* Poomkaate Poyi Chollamo - Shyama
* Chandana Katte - Bheeshmacharya
* Pularkala Sundhara Swapnathil Njan Oru
* Poomaaname - Nirakoottu
* Chembarathi Poove Chollu
* Aayiram Kannumaayi - Nokketha Dhoorathu Kan
* Uyirai Tholaithen
* Kadhal Konden
* Partha Mudhal Naal
* Munbe Vaa - Sillunu Oru Kadhal
* Ennai Konjam - Kakka Kakka
* Ennai Kaanavilaiyeh - Kadhal Desam
* Kaadhal Rojave - Roja
* Mudhinam Paarthene - Vaaranam Aayiram
* Kangal Irandal - Subramaniapuram
* Dil De Diya Hai - Masti
* Awarapan Banjarapan
* Sheesha Ho Ya Dil Ho
* Akhion Kay Jorokhoon Say
* Tu is Tarah Se Meri Zindagi Mein
* Pal Pal Dil Ke Paas - Blackmail
* Likhe Jo Khat Tujhe - Kanyadaan
* Aur is Dil Mein Kya Rakha Hai - Immandaar
* Tumse Milke
* Dil Mera Churaya Kyun - Akele Hum Akele Tum
* Maine Dil se Kaha Dhund Lana Na Kushi
* Have I told you lately that I love you - Rod Stewart
* Because I love you - Shakin Stevens
* Unchained Melody - Righteous Brothers
* Making love out of nothing at all - Air Supply
* The Power of Love - Jennifer Rush
* Karma Chameleon - Boy George - Culture Club
* Broken Wings - Mr. Mister
* Hazard - Richard Marx
* I believe I can Fly - R. kelly
* Tonight I celeberate my love - Peabo Bryson and Roberta Flack
* Sealed with a kiss - Jason Donavan
* Waiting for a girl like you
* Those were the days - Mary Hopkin
* 500 Miles - The Brother Four
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Women look suspiciously at every male trying to be friendly with them on the street. They don't even venture out in the streets alone in the fear that men will rape them. In 98.28 per cent of 581 rape cases registered last year, the "rape" accused were known to the victims and had been interacting with the victims in the normal course of life. It has to be understood by women that "men" don't rape women the minute they see them. The more women try to be afraid of men the more they are being targeted as weaklings. What makes them weaklings when they too have sharp teeth, hard knuckles, lethal elbows and powerful knee joints? What makes it difficult for them to use any one of them when they are being raped? Why do they need to cry out for help and waste the energy and stamina to ward off men in a typical rape scenario? The pervert in me stood to wonder why the "'Man" with an overly excited bulge in his loins did not attack and rub in his masculinity in the nearby sleeping dog? Did it fear the sharp claws of his agile legs?" Did he fear the tart teeth on his precious maleness? Women, I believe should rise up their horizons and bolt out their inhibitions which the society has created for them. The "Amnesia" bar scenario is no exception; it begs me to question why the women didn't call the police and go back to the pub to have their drink? A thought to be considered! Were they afraid that they were not part of the secular and constitutional India? Were they afraid of "Men?" Were they afraid of the media who would label them "Anti Hindu?" or "Anti Indian?"
As we celebrate the Charles Darwin anniversary, a total hypocrite to the extent that he was instrumental in creating the concept called feminism. He invited the wrath, belief and the convictions among a gender which I believe is no inferior and helpless than the so called "Man" he wanted to be called. He hard scripted beliefs in an innocent society and declared that, (Quote) "‘women… constant companion, (friend in old age) who will feel interested in one, object to be beloved and played with—better than a dog anyhow—Home, and someone to take care of house—Charms of music and female chit-chat. These things good for one’s health"
Before his marriage to his own cousin and fathering 10 children he wrote that, "how should I manage all my business if I were obligated to go every day walking with my wife—Eheu!’ As a married man I would be a ‘poor slave … worse than a Negro’ and then reminisced that ‘One cannot live this solitary life, with groggy old age, friendless and cold and childless staring one in one’s face …’
The weaker gender as imposed by Charles Darwin got imposed in the society to the extent that Women have always been presented in literature and even in mythology that characterizes the thinking of groups, societies and nation as submissive and passive, a weakling to the core. Even though the last past years have seen striking increases in the quad usable for women in the Indian society and women in general with the help of affirmative policies and programmers by the government and revolting initiatives by feminists and NGOs the impact has been considerate but not enough to change the views of "men" in general that women is a human after all.
For an ultimate revelation, biologically the women are a stronger sex. In societies around the world the women when treated equally to men have outlived men, and hence there are more women than men in the world. But reverse is the case in India with the census proving that there are fewer women for men in India with the sole exception of Kerala. Every other State had fewer women than men accounting to foetal homicide and dowry issues
Women need to stand up dusting off the age old beliefs of the society and "Darwinism" and emerge strong and confident individuals, in total control of their own lives and able to raise their voices to demand their rightful existence and presence in this world. They are instead asking themselves if the glass is half full or half empty.
Though I'm concerned about all the women in the world in general, I believe that women in India are a deprived lot in terms of personal space and freedom. The India's total female population of India is more than the cumulative populations of Canada, USA and the Russia but still women are afraid to walk the high bridge and show the world that they are no lesser animals. Why were they opposed by the society in encouraging remarriage, supporting female education, and opposing polygamy in the older days? Why are they still to a few exceptions due to globalization coerced to wearing purdahs and hijabs? Why are they still forced to sell their morality and bodies for money to satisfy the male pleasures?
The untoward female to male ratio can be explicated by the fact that women in India are still second class citizens. It is cogent evidence that, at every stage in their lives starting from their gory births the women in general are deprived of their rights and entitlements, and singled out in a variety of ways. Who could forget the legendary Travancore (kingdom of Kerala) decision to impose tax on women for the right to cover their upper body? Who could forget that the Women had no legal or social status rights other than that educed from their stand in the family and could not inherit, except for the poor widow who was esteemed to 'use' her husband's property if there were no male heir, and had few options to support themselves? Who can forget sati? Who could forget that in the past golden era, women were just literary subjects in whom the Vishnu cult fathered narrations, the Ramayana and stories of Krishna devotional songs, with courtly love as a trope, which sported women as heroines and just simple objects and entertainments of desire?
I hated Charles Darwin when I read in his famous research and writings that, "A wife did not aspire to be her husband’s intellectual companion, but rather to amuse his leisure hours." The
The Charles Darwin's "Darwinian" principles of male superiority assisted to increase the secularization and divisions in society
From time immemorial the doctrines and convictions dictated and transferred to boys and girls in the family have created gender differences. Of course I believe that that these are not all mutually undivided singled theories and are innate but are reinforced and exaggerated by the likes of Charles Darwin whose birthday we are very joyously celebrating!!
Saturday, February 7, 2009
I wonder if they have no other job. Are they all living in a stinky deep shit well to realize that not everyone gets married with a “mangalsutra?” How are they going to assume who is a Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist or a Jain? And since when did they assume the role of our Parents? I would like to remind them some other duties a regular parent does so that they can exorcise them…
1: Restrict easy availability of cheap pornographic material in the forms of books, porn sites in the internet and MMS's
2: Go for legal fights with media and Bollywood for stupid indicatory pelvic dances and suggestive advertisements
3: Fight the drug lobby for easily available drugs
I'm limiting this to only three so that they can easily achieve their goals before the elections and become the new guardians of India.
Have they thought deeply enough about their norms and actions being sensible? Do they know that Valentine's Day is not just celebrated between lovers? Do they know that there are at least 9-10 different flowers given off in a typical Valentine's Day? Let us educate them least they marry off even friends, brothers and relatives
Red Roses: Symbolically red roses convey romantic love and enduring passion. This is the perfect flower to say, "I Love You," (Just read: I love you and we will marry if we like each others attitudes and if our "Parents" agree).
White Roses: Symbolic of purity, truth, innocence and respect
Yellow Roses: Symbolizes friendship and celebration. Used to convey "Let's Be Friends," (Read: Let's be friends and not, "let's wait for Ram Sena to get us married")
Pink Roses: Symbolize admiration, gentleness and sweetness and are associated with friendship (Hope you are not color blind and can sense the difference between "Red" and "Pink"
(Note for the Ram Sena: Any other color, just ignore the couple, you may not understand the depth of human relations)
Let's agree with one point for them, celebrating Valentine's Day is a Western tradition, absolutely no doubt, but in this era of globalization (hope they have gone to school and have heard of it), it has come to be a celebration for men and women around the world. Do they know that the modern Indian morality is a direct result of a variety of historical events?
Let's educate them before the elections: (Source: Wikipedia)
Harappan culture: Paleolithic Age, roughly between 400,000 and 200,000 B.C
Vedic Aryans: A series of migrations by Indo-European-speaking seminomads took place during the second millennium B.C
Kingdoms and Empires: The Aryan and Greek penetration between 1500 and ca. 800 B.C. A two-way cultural fusion between Indo-Greek communities, especially in art and architecture
The Mauryan Empire: Emergence of Magadha in the eastern Indo-Gangetic Plain. In 322 B.C., Magadha, under the rule of Chandragupta Maurya. Ashoka, grandson of Chandragupta, ruled from 269 to 232 B.C. Disintegration of the Mauryan Empire India's unguarded borders again attract a series of invaders between 200 B.C. and A.D. 300. As the Aryans had done, the invaders became "Indianized" in the process of their conquest and settlement.
The Deccan and the South: Cheras, Cholas and the Pandyas frequently fought to gain regional and cultural supremacy.
Gupta and Harsha: The military exploits of the first three rulers, Chandragupta I (ca. 319-335), Samudragupta (ca. 335-376), and Chandragupta II (ca. 376-415) in North India
The Southern Rivals: Peninsular India involved in an eighth-century tripartite power struggle among the Chalukyas (556-757) of Vatapi, the Pallavas (300-888) of Kanchipuram, and the Pandyas (seventh through the tenth centuries) of Madurai. The Chalukya rulers were overthrown by their subordinates, the Rashtrakutas, who ruled from 753 to 973.
The Plunders: Mahmud of Ghazni (971-1030), who was also known as the "Sword of Islam," mounted seventeen plundering expeditions between 997 and 1027. The sultanate was in constant state of uncertainty as more than five dynasties rose and fell.
The Mughals (1398- 1707): In the early sixteenth century, descendants of the Mongol, Turkish, Iranian, and Afghan invaders of South Asia - Mughals invaded and spread their traditions
The Marathas: They were left virtually alone before the invading Afghan forces, headed by Ahmad Shah Abdali (later called Ahmad Shah Durrani), who routed them on the blood-drenched battlefield at Panipat in 1761
The Coming of the Europeans: Portuguese, Dutch, British, and French
The British Empire :( 1757-1947) - Diffused with ample ethnocentric sense of superiority, British intellectuals crashed through a movement that brought Western intellectual and technological innovations to Indians. There mission was to "civilize" India and rule it until Indians proved themselves competent for self-rule. Western-educated Hindu's assayed to rid Hinduism of its much criticized social dilemmas like idolatry, the caste systems, child marriages, and sati.
Now its question time for the Ram Sena before the bell rings and we disperse the class -
Whose tradition are you following? The Harappans, the Vedic Aryans, the Greeks, the Mauryans, the Mughals, the Invaders from the Mongol, Iran and Afghan or the Marathas?
Do not India's ethnic culture, the varying linguistics, and regional complexness set it apart from other countries as an ultimate world civilization, secular and varied in all aspects?
Have not great philosophers such as Immanuel Kant pointed out that, "Love in the ordinary sense of the word cannot be commanded, because issues relating to feelings or emotions are not relevant to moral commands?" Were you not young once with feelings of love, the need to copulate and be wanted in love?
Trust me, Ram Sena, when I say that there was a golden time when one celebrated love in India openly and without inhibitions and the rulers protected it. If you don't want to support just protect it by being a silent bodyguard for the couple while they dream away with their hands enticed and remind them in the evening that it's dark, safely escort and drop them back in their homes and wish them good night and good luck. If "Goondas" like you simply don't have this helping mentality and culture then go to sleep like the Rip Van Winkle and wake up 20 years later to see the 20 year old young generation of the very couples you are very vehemently trying to pull apart in the name of God!
As for me, I'm very much energized by your attitude. I'm going to order for around 100 "red flowers," open up a small temporary shack behind St Theresa's College in Kochi, Kerala, where I'll distribute it between 10 A.M to 12:00 noon, freely to any couple who wants to propose in front of me and be reminded that I'll be there with at least 100 of my friends waiting for you to disrupt them. God created butts soft not just to be comfortable on political chairs but also to be kicked in the ass publicly by people like me. Best of luck and see you there!!
Monday, February 2, 2009
Vijayasree Voora married Dr. V Ravi Chandran a scientist in the USA. Vijayasree purportedly did her education from the University of Hawaii at Manoa (1993 to 1995) and the Purdue University (1995 - 1999). Being well educated she worked as a lecturer. The couple borne a child named Aditya. Everything seemed fine until one day the ugly face of egoism showed its face. They decided to divorce but now what about Aditya. The custodial battle in USA was swift and according to very stringent laws in the USA, Chandra was almost made to rake out $ 3,00,000 (Rs 1.5 crore) as an one-time settlement and he was ordered to pay $ 2,500 (Rs 1.2 lakh) per month as maintenance for the child every month. Aditya was allowed custodial of 20 days with his mother and the remaining 10 days with Chandran. Soon Chandran wanted Aditya only for himself and wanted to deny him to his biological Mother. He filed for legal custody by claiming that Vijayasree is mentally disturbed. She in turn accused him of being a pedophile and sexually molesting Aditya. The court but directs Aditya to his Father. Vijayasree requests a month of stay with her child before he goes for ever to live with his father and also requests for a journey with him to India so that Aditya could visit his grand parents and relatives for the last time. She journeys but never returns back to the USA. Dr. Ravi files a complaint for kidnapping and the court issues an arrest warrant in January 2007. Two years have gone by and the Mother is still running and evading an international manhunt.
What makes human beings delusional and suspicious? Why do people disturb their family life by creating illusory ideas? Why do egoist couples make repeated accusations based on insignificant or minimal evidence, often citing apparently normal or everyday events or duties to back up their claim? They also take great pains to test their partner's claim and go to such large lengths to monitor the partner’s behavior and everyday movements, sometimes to great extremes, such as waiting outside the partner's office, checking their incoming phone calls or checking their emails
In most cases of the current child custody drama, the court favors the mother. After all, children do need their mothers particularly at an early age. And this is not to discredit Mothers but I strongly believe Fathers too are significant in a young child's life. When the child custody becomes a conflict and battle, everyone loses on the way to some ego victory - Innocent children, the couple’s future and the whole family's peace. Children need the love of both parents and should never be asked to choose between the two most important people in their lives
On the 2nd anniversary of the escapade, I mull over about their torn lives and remember the story of the wise Solomon who was adjudicating the trail of two mothers who were claiming the ownership of a baby. Both the mothers argued that the baby was their baby. The wise King ordered the baby to be cut in half and each mother receives half the baby. One mother screamed and pleaded the king not to hurt the baby and to give the baby to the other woman. The king thus knew that the woman who cared for her baby was the real parent.
But seeing the manhunt initiated by Dr. Chandra who has even created a website http://www.rescueaditya.org and the way the biological Mother is termed an "International Kidnapper," posted and portrayed as a "severely mentally disturbed" person and some "petty and daily" Mother struggles in bringing up a child posted as video leaves no confusion in my mind that Dr Ravi is the disturbed person. His stupid logic quoted from the website says, "Aditya lived like a prince in father's home while Vijayasree Voora made him a street urchin and gave him a lifestyle of a filthy beggar." is too much to fathom. I just wish that Vijayasree keeps running until her husband understands his folly, gives the respect he needs to give his wife and welcomes them both back with love and an understanding which God imparted to only us mortals.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
I dare these "Talibans," traditionalists, culture-protectors to go to Mumbai and take the ride to Kamathipura where under the pretense of friends, hotel room bookies, and gentlemen, expert navigators will guide you, around the clock to a world of flesh trade where many of their Sisters dreams have been shattered and kismet plays mayhem with many a females life everyday.
The Shiv Ram Sena claimed that these women were against tradition and that these were Hindu girls and that it was not right for them. Now what is right according to "our" tradition? What did they not like in the pub which was not traditional, their modern dresses? Or the lazy Saturday drink?
What does the "traditional" Ram Sena prefer, the traditional Sari, the single six yards piece of cloth, which trust me, most girls are wary of wearing the first time because it shows almost all parts of the upper body which they have never revealed? Or the Choli with a tightly fitted blouse that ends just below the bust which when first introduced was only a front covering with the back bare? Or the churidar which is tight fitting at the hips, thighs and ankles and needs no imagination of the torso or the Lehanga, the skirt tied around the waist and thus leaving the back and midriff bare with only a flimsy "dupatta" to cover the assets?
Are they not aware that custom of abstinence (from alcohol) is a relatively recent culture? The extensive diverse fermentation and distillation of alcoholic beverages produced from fruits, grains and flowers were from time memorial part and parcel of the Indian culture and were a routine in every house hold. Have they not read the lyrical descriptions of ritual fiesta drinking by both sexes in secular literature? Haven't they heard that the abkari (excise) policies of the British colonial government, barring manufacture of alcoholic beverages at homes and transferring authority to colonial licensed distilleries, led to the revolutionary replacement of traditional alcoholic drink in households by factory made beverages? Have they not heard that the nationalist movement against the British rule resulted into mass movements against alcohol toasting as a symbol of colonial oppression?
Shame on you! I label you a terrorist who I define as someone who does not want to live and let live. Shame on you!
Friday, January 23, 2009
I was busy all day "googling" up all the famous personalities and their surnames. Following is a small list:
Albert Koch (Einstein)
Isaac Ayscough (Newton)
Johann Sebastian Laemmerhirt (Bach)
William Arden (Shakespeare)
George Ball (Washington)
Thomas Randolph (Jefferson)
Johan Wolfgang Textor (Goethe)
Wolfgang Amadeus Pertl (Mozart)
Napoleon Ramolin (Bonaparte)
Ludwig Keverich (van Beethoven)
Abraham Hanks (Lincoln)
Charles Wedgwood (Darwin)
Charles Barrow (Dickens)
Karl Pressburg (Marx)
Sigmund Nathanson (Freud)
Charlie Hill (Chaplin)
Ernest Hall (Hemingway)
It's not a new information that in western society and in our part of the world the wife looses part of her personal identity (Feminists: Don't curse just read, part of her full name) through marriage as she takes on the family name of her husband. If she's famous before marriage, the family name of the husband usually gets (read: usually) gets ignored. So its only fair to all parties as dictated by reason and conscience to emphasize on the 50% of the polypeptide gene chain the mothers put in the mix to surname immortality. It's believed that the Chinese were the first to embrace surnames to honor their forebears, with the family name placed first, rather than last. Thus, the family or the surname name of Wei-Sheng Sun is Wei. When close knit communities comprised of just a few people, surnames weren't so important. They were simply known as for example, "Jesus of Nazareth". But as each small villages or communities started migrating and the village adopted more and more "Raj's," "Rahul's," "Geetha's" and "Sita's", the need was begged for a way to identify each from the other. In India according to the type of work they did, the Patel's, the Kumar's, the Gupta's, the Malhotra's etc came into being.
Now the names that identify the father are termed Patronymic surnames. Rarely, the name of the mother contributed the surname, which is referred to as Matronymic.
Here's something interesting which was followed until 1900
The first son was named for the father's father
The second son was named for the mother's father,
The third son was named after the father.
The fourth son was named after the father's eldest brother.
The first daughter was named after the mother's mother.
The second daughter was named after the father's mother
The third daughter was named after the mother.
The fourth daughter was named after the mother's eldest sister.
If a widowed mortal remarried (divorce was virtually unheard of) and had children with the new spouse, the first offspring of the same gender as the departed spouse was given the spouse's name. The same was in the case if a child in the family died, and then the next of that gender was given that name.
Isn't it romantic to be associated with your husband? Isn't it still the tradition of a girl joining up a "family" and be colligated with a name? I beg to be differed! What's happening with this world? Is marriage so casual an affair that women feel the urge not to change their names in the passport and other legal documents in the fear that after separation and divorce, it’s a mess changing it back?
Now a so called "traditional" Dilnawaz Shaikh, oops, Sara Khan, oops, Manyata (I simply don't have the right to sing, "alhar mast jawani…" in my mind and imagine the daring camera tracing human anatomies) added to the on going debate between-the-now-wannbe-politician, Sanjay Dutt and his Sister Namarata Dutt, when she told IANS: “If you can't accept your husband's name and family then why marry? And yet again, "Mrs. Indira Gandhi was married to Feroz Gandhi, someone not as famous as the Nehrus. But she didn't fight all those glorious battles as 'Indira Nehru'. And now Priyanka calls herself a Vadra after her husband (Robert Vadra), not a Gandhi.”
Sanjay Dutt said and I quote, “Women should not stick to their fathers' surname after marriage. It is disrespectful to their husbands. They must adopt their husbands' surname. I would have felt bad if Manyata had stuck to her father's surname," Poor Sanjay (The new MCP) had no idea that the Feminists (Sorry dear Mummy’s, Aunties and Sisters) are waiting to hear something like this utter out and that too in front of the media. A dog biting a man is no news however a man biting a dog is news!
Over reacting to Sanjay Dutt's remarks, our ever the more aspiring feminist (sorry again!) Minister Renuka Chowdhury (Women and Child Development) uttered out in sheer disgust, "Aspiring politicians like him should take some lessons on the constitutional rights of women before thinking of entering parliament." This is the same Renuka Aunty who one day on the national Television said speaking of the much one sided (sorry again!) Domestic Violence Act, “It is the men's turn to suffer" and yet again, "We will have cradles strategically placed all over the place so that people who don’t want their babies can leave them there"
Imagine that? You don't want a baby, just throw it away! In my judgment anything that will help palliate the foeticide curse is a good thing, but the quick mental imagery of "improvised garbage boxes" set up everywhere is kind of sickening. A child is a gift and not a dress you throw away if you don't want it. It’s a quiet hushed up truth that the SIFF (Save Indian Family Foundation) receives 200-350 calls from men per week for torture, forced to pay maintenance and for alleged dowry harassment. Of course, there are real cases but all the disgruntled women have to do is shed a few tears in the courtroom.
Women talk about rights, they talk about dignity and integrity and they talk about "being a Man, oops...being a Woman." They blame the Man if they become frustrated with life and the boredom in Marriage. They blame the Man when he comes dead tired from all the work in the office and too much time in the office and is not able to perform in bed. They blame the Man if he has a woman as friend and more the so if she's too friendly to call at home. They blame the Man if he's pathetic in the kitchen and cannot manage the Kids if she's not home. The list goes on... What they fail to understand is that HE is a Man and SHE's a Woman. Does that same Woman treat her kids, a boy and a girl the same? Is the boy in the kitchen, cutting vegetables while the Girl pulls up a jeans and wrestle with other boys? So let's have nature define roles in marriage. The man cannot nurse a child and provide milk but he can give a strong shoulder of support- Emotionally, Socially as a Father and a Man and finally financially, to the best of his ability.
Let not women grow out of the basic sense of ethics and tradition to enjoy the patronage and pamperment of radical women’s organizations, the helpless laws and the biased judiciary and the biased anti-men news seeking media who want to squeeze and rub out every possible drop of sensationalism from the fulcrum of the family. Let's all live together- caring, teasing and fighting, indulging and shouldering each other as we age and fall. God Bless!
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
The lady in white was sweating profusely as she hung on to the grocery bag she was carrying. It was no doubt heavy as she kept heaving it from one hand to the other. I wondered about her age; eyeing the fine grey hair line drenched in sweat, she seemed in her fifties with sagging eyes covered crudely with over-sized black spectacles. She was no doubt going home from a long day at work and had been obviously walking to the bus stand after some quick grocery shopping. My eyes shifted to another lady standing beside her. She too was anxiously shifting her glance from one overly crowded bus to the other. Suddenly I found it amusing looking at all the people in the bus stand. They all suddenly looked as if in pain; pain from hardships; pain from carrying themselves in life; pain from life’s disdain and monotony. I thought about myself; I had woken up at 12:00 noon, read the newspaper and abruptly planned for a movie. At a slow pace, I had showered, fed my fishes, locked up my apartment, started my bike and had gone to my favorite eatery where I savored the fish fry with some rice. Stomach full, I had parked my bike near the bus stand and taken the bus to the theatre in Aluva. The film - Chandini Chowk to Chinatown was as stupid as I had suspected but with some slick comedy it didn't matter plus/and the near empty theatre meant that I could swing up my legs over the front row seat and enjoy the visuals added up to my Saturday afternoon time-pass. After the movie, I had slowly walked window shopping and enjoying a smoke to the bus-stand where I now stood looking at people with a far-away pain in their eyes
I guess people were not left with a choice. They just followed the path in front of them. They just did what was required of them to do. They went to school, they went to work, and they married, had children, supported and married them off and then quietly died remembering probably the few laughs they had.
But to me, none of it matters at all. I'm among the best theatrical actors in the world. I wear a smile on my face because I know quite well that no one is going to understand. I know that making others understand makes me feel vulnerable. I know that other people don't care for my petty problems. It of course makes me feel too unimportant for words or for action. It forever lingers in me, reminding me of all those times of emotional solitude. So I smile and joke, try to seek some attention with some sassy remarks, comment on the weather, the upcoming movie and probably of the latest techno-shit available in the market. This I call passing time. But the growing concern is if the feelings or the intensity of my love to certain passing-time lullabies will last for ever. As a small child, I was very often left alone in the house. My Dad and Mom were both working couples and I dived into a dreamy world I built around the books I read. I wasn't lonely. I infact loved the fact that my parents will leave me alone in my dream world and not trouble me with the are-you-studying-questions. But those Mandrake's, Superman's and those Phantom stories don't interest me anymore. Will my current craze for movies last for ever? Will I develop out a new indulgence as I age?
Sometimes when time doesn't pass on I feel the more self-indulgent knowing that in truth, there is always some one to talk to. I longingly look at the cell phone and agnize that I can press those magic dial pads to make a human voice speak into my ear, but I know that I need to get used to my life and the way it is supposed to go. I know that I just need to be that ugly teenager (never revealing my actual age) in out-of-date clothing that is much too silly, selfish and obsessive to care for anyone. But I realize that the current dream is short lived and the harsh daylight will seap in through those blinded curtains. I know that one day I’ll open up my eyes to see myself old and an empty house and world where I wouldn’t even have anyone to share my dream with. A strange pain will envelop me and I’ll try to close my eyes and dream again but I know it would be lost with the memories of time and with desperate eyes and a meek voice I’ll start talking to empty walls....
Monday, January 5, 2009
It is well known fact that the ancient Roman calendar which at that time had only ten months celebrated March 1st as the 1st day of the New Year. The calendar was made keeping the cycles of the moon, beginning in spring and ending with autumn cultivations. Soon the Romans divided the year into twelve lunar months by adding the months of January and February. The New Year was declared as January 1st by the Roman Empire but this wasn't accepted by the general people and they persisted in celebrating it in the month of March only. The Change in the celebrations happened over time when the Romans convinced the world that January 1st (8th day from birth) coincided with the circumcision of Jesus Christ who was born on the 25th December. At that time circumcision was common since all basic religions like Christianity, Islamism and other Paganist religions all originated from Judaism. Little did the world realize that Romans worshiped God Janus who had two faces, one looking forward and the other looking backward. January was named after this Roman God and it gave a thought to the Romans to establish January as a gate to the New Year. It also related to the earlier "new year"- March which was related to Mars the God of war. March was the original beginning of the year, and the time for the resumption of war- A beginning. Even in Astrology, Pisces, constellation between Aquarius and Aries represents two fishes swimming in opposite directions. FYI- Pisces the twelfth sign is death and eternity!
I'm always a supporter of a beginning and an end. There should always be an end to everything. We all need a change of view, a change of contemplated reason to thrive in this world; to be happy! But do we need to wait for a beginning to put up an end? Should we wait till January 1st to put an end to something and start something new? Across the world, the most "recited" resolutions are, 1: Losing weight by healthy eating, and 2: Be healthier by going to the gym and smoking less and drinking less. Everyone just wants to become better people and be "happy". People just want to enjoy that sense of intention, accomplishment and pleasure that one feels when achieving values and keep proving that they are not failures in life and there exists a "new year" when they can change themselves and "out-prove" themselves.
There exists an age old belief somehow drilled into our feeble minds that, "What one does on this day, one will do for the rest of the year." But what is the purpose of making such goals, declarations and resolutions? Why just bother? Constructing that New Year's resolutions (and even more doing so after failing last year's resolution vow) stresses that ordinary mortals like you and me just want to be happy. You are happy!! Think about it, you are; it is that you have moments and are afraid what the future will bring. What people fail to realize is that everyone of us is in control of ourselves, never are you a victim fated by your own God damned circumstance, never controlled by some stars and your bull shit astrologer, or for the matter owned by luck, but in actuality, you are a normal mortal who can make choices to change your life anytime and anywhere. You can learn and study whatever you want, ask for that bloody promotion and make money, fight off your shyness and propose to that pretty damsel or look up at the world. Your life is in your own hands.
So my dear's, wake up and look above these idiosyncrasies and enjoy life!
Happy New Year! Happy life! Welcome 2009…
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
I angrily threw away the cigarette butt as it burned my hand. I hadn't noticed it burn away as I stood reminiscing. I sighed into the night and moved on, back to my cabin. I had to finish the work of formatting the resume. At 2:00 A.M, I was ready to call it a day. I switched off my workstation, gave the Gold Fish some fish food granules and quietly hushed them a "Merry Christmas" as I sheepishly switched off the light and walked out into the cold night.
Driving my bike back to my flat, I couldn't help notice the fancy paper Christmas Stars shining in basically every house on the way. Most of the houses also had fancy blue and red lighting. They looked so warm, so full of Christmas tidings... Even I had put in a star and decked up my door with Christmas decoration paraphernalia. My star was red but was with a lot of "designer holes" This probably was made to permit a lot of light to emit out of the star but looking from far, it was more "whitish" than red, so I bought some transparent red decoration paper and pasted it neatly all over the star. I remember looking at it satisfied when the paper star had become the enigmatic look alike celestial body I wanted it to become during the night. I stopped on my way to the 24/7 bakery and ordered for a coffee. I swear the coffee too tasted like "Christmas". I eyed the brown plum cake on display and ordered one too. There I sat on the cold steel chair and wished myself, "Happy Christmas"
I woke up in the afternoon on the 25th of December, pulled myself out of bed and as usual angled to the door where "The Hindu" lay orphaned. Still eyeing the headlines, I moved to where my cell phone lay muted and as usual my heart sank when I saw no, "missed calls". No one had called to wish me Christmas!! I dialed up "Home", Mom picked up; She reminded me that it was Christmas. I said a sorry. She suddenly said that there are some guests and requested me to call later. I then called my younger Sister settled in Bangalore, wished her and her hubby Christmas and hung up soon as she was busy in the Kitchen making lunch. There, my job was over, my Christmas "morning" over.
A bath later, I decked up with whatever good dress I had, drove and stopped outside the now closed church and tried praying. All I did was, think about the good old Christmas days. A few minutes later I was driving to the best restaurant near my house. The waiter, eyed me suspiciously as I ordered rice, a plate of chicken curry, a plate of mutton curry, a plate of beef curry, a plate of prawns curry and a fish fry. He glanced reassuringly at the purse and the bike key on the table and asked, "single plate rice?"
After the "grand" Christmas lunch, which was half wasted, I went for a movie. A regular Malayalam flick. I noticed that the theatre was full packed and that meant impatient child bickering, irritated baby cries and the regular chips/wafer packet messing noises. But that's the sacrifice one has to do if you need to watch a new movie before its released on VCD. Reaching home and after a long refreshing bath, I relaxed down on the recliner in the balcony and watched the sun go down. I held the phone dearly near me and waited for a call on Christmas day
My star shone ever so brightly in the dark night. A slight breeze pushed it back and forth and the red light danced into my eyes. I kept staring at it as the mystic luminance filled my soul. Suddenly a continuous, deafening sound of crackers filled my ears. I traced the sound to the sky which had suddenly become red, green and violet. I kept my gaze and wanted to miss nothing. Soon it was all over. I looked at my own red star and picked up the phone to call everyone on my almost full phone book since they simple didn’t remember me on Christmas day. The time read: 12:01 A.M 26th Dec 2008. I jolted up from my relaxed reclining on the chair and looked again. The time was right. I had slept off and finished my precious Christmas night by gazing at my red star and waiting for a call on Christmas Day...